Last summer, I met life coach and radio show host Lillian McDermott. We were brought together because she wanted to do a show about raising awareness of the LGBT community. We got along well and I’m now a permanent guest on the 2nd and 4th Tuesday show at 9 am. During the September show, we were discussing depression and anxiety and I mentioned quite often, the root cause of depression and anxiety is a lack of self–love. Lillian was very interested in how we can work to love ourselves more fully and together we embarked on developing the 90-Day Self Love Challenge.
I’ve often said the three most important relationships in your life are time, money and yourself (not in order of importance). I say this because they are the only things that endure throughout the lifespan. Everything else, everyone else has the potential to come and go. However, you will always have to deal with time and unless you somehow manage to live on a deserted island and sustain yourself by living off the land there, you will always have to deal with money too. Equally, you have to live with yourself everyday so it is very important neither time, money, nor you become your enemy.
Self–love is our most important task in this life and it will (and should) take a lifetime of work. It’s like exercising. You are never done. It constantly needs attention and improvement.
So, Lillian and I set out to develop an action plan of how a person can get more self–love in his/her life. We started off for the first 30 days with the focus on becoming more aware. We spent days 1-25 identifying the 25 people in our lives that have made significant impacts. We focused on the positive and the growth opportunities we learned from people, while being aware of the positive growth from negative relationships. I had a past relationship in which the quality of that relationship was poor and very negative, I came out of it with a lot clarity about who I wanted to be and want I want my life to look like. We can learn a lot from the negative experiences and people who have passed through our lives. Each day is spent in reflection of that relationship and acknowledging the growth that came out of it. It was very important to Lillian she contact everyone possible on her list to tell them about the impact they have made on her. I preferred my reflection to be mostly with myself. Everyone has a different path and recognizing what works for you is best.
Days 26-30 are about becoming more aware of your how you go about your day. The focus is on being aware of your thoughts and where they take you. What does your body language say about how you are around others and in different situations? Spend the time focusing getting to know you.
I will address days 31-90 in upcoming posts. In the meantime, I invite you to work on this 90-Day self–love challenge. Go to www.whenyouneedafriend.com to learn more. At the website, you can listen live to me on the radio show on the 2nd and 4th Tuesday of every month from 9a – 10a Eastern Time.